The Mother Load: Silent Suffering

Disclaimer: This is a different kind of motivation Monday. It's not bright and sparkly, but it's truthful and it's real. And it's where we are. And sometimes being honest is the best place to start. Because from here we can be sure of where we stand and take our first step to a better place, where it is bright and sparkly and all that we want.

“He pushed me down again and I thought my wrist had been broken, but I’m okay. I really want to leave but he may be right, I haven’t worked in ten years, my daughter and I wouldn’t have any money to live on. He said he would take it all.”

This was said to me recently by a woman who didn’t know me. We met in a hallway waiting for a kid's birthday party to finish up. The kids were celebrating as this mother looked at me with a desperation in her eyes that was palpable. She was looking for a way out and wanted encouragement.

This quiet suppression is being felt by many mothers. I’ve heard this story so many times – the fear to leave because the belief that we just can’t do it on our own is swallowed and accepted. The taste lingers in our day to day lives, going through the motions and not standing up for our heart because… fear.

We have been misinformed that the house, keeping it together for the kids and the convenience of marriage is worth the mistreatment. We believe the lies that we are worthless without our family in-tact. We stay quiet because it’s easier to keep these feelings that seem to swallow us whole to ourselves rather than open up and share and cause anyone else any discomfort.

So we sufferer silently.

Women have been talked out of their power for hundreds of years now. But it wasn’t always like this. And it doesn’t have to be like this any longer.

We are stronger when we own our truth. We are stronger when we speak and lift our voices up from our hearts.

We are here to heal and love and serve. But we are not here to suffer.

Today, when we feel like speaking but hold our tongue, let it go. Today, when we feel like standing up but don’t, decide to stand anyway. Today, when we see a sister keeping up with the lie, may we extend our arms and let her know she is not alone.

We’ve got each other.

And that’s enough.

For now.

To my sisters still battling the silent war, don’t believe the lies. You are worth more than the words spoken from a broken man.

And for my brothers who honor their hearts and those around them, I see you too. Your love ripples across vast fields of pain and nourishes the soil from which we all grow.

We are one in love. One heart, together. And together we heal. And through our healing, those who want to tear us down will lose ground and topple, and then their healing will begin.

But it will take our making a move first.

We’re ready. Let’s go.

With love,


#divorce #abuse #pain #mothering #power