As sharers of this human experience, we've all encountered heartbreak. We get to share other things too, like happiness, creativity, longing, joy and anticipation, just to name a few. But heartbreak is always the real deal – it never wears a mask. When we feel it, we know it. There is no mistaking the feeling of a heart that has been broken.
Which is why we will try anything to avoid it. No one is in line to sign up for a broken heart.
There isn’t just one recipe for a broken heart, our hearts can get shattered for many reasons because we love in so many ways - romantically, our kids, our family, our friends, our pets. No wonder we want to avoid heartbreak. It can come at us from so many different directions.
When I finally caved and let my own heart shatter (divorce and the loss of my dad have been a couple of routes for me), I knew I would die. But I didn’t. I thought for sure I would drown myself in my own tears. But I didn’t. I thought my life would end. But it didn’t.
The pain is dark and sad and miserable. But when my own tears dried, I remembered seeing things in a whole new light. Things were brighter, as if my tears had washed away the dirt that had clouded my view.
When my heart shattered into a million different pieces, a million different rays of light filled the cracks.
And then I remember asking myself, why did I wait so long?
The anticipation of my heart breaking may have been more devastating than the heartbreak itself. Keeping it together, holding it in, pretending, faking it, they are all nagging, exhausting feelings that keep us from our true happiness.
When we fall and break, we release. When our hearts open, a true awakening occurs. It is then that we can begin to realize our connection and capabilities and foster compassion.
A broken heart leads to a heart more capable of loving deeper, stronger and more authentically. A broken heart opens us up to our own vulnerabilities and allows us to realize we don’t have to always have everything together to be loved. A broken heart leads us to the realization that regardless of the trials and tribulations life may bring the most important factor of all is love. A broken heart is the ultimate reality check.
The loss that brings us to heartbreak only awakens a truth that we all carry inside of us, a bond we all share - that we are here to love and be loved. Your broken heart leads you to loving the number one person in your life – you. And when you start here, the love you have for everyone else is amplified, pure and true – no strings attached because they too have been broken.
A broken heart leads to less judgment and a broader sense of acceptance. A broken heart leads to a greater capacity to love and be loved. A broken heart shifts our guidance from that of outward focus to inner truth.
A broken heart is worth the pain.
For those still holding on and trying to keep it together, let it go. Question what is holding you there and not letting you fall. Beliefs, ideas and thoughts will shift with each tear that rolls down your cheek. Breathe. And realize just how not alone you truly are, because this is our human experience, and to have a heart is to have it break. You’ve got this. And it’s totally worth it.
You see those people who love deeply and wear genuine smiles? I’d be willing to bet heartbreak got them there.
A broken heart doesn’t make us weak it makes us stronger.
We become more open to our own vulnerabilities and insecurities, which means we get past what’s holding us back from not being okay with who we are to loving who we are. Which is a very good reason to smile.
Feeling brave and want to talk about your heartbreak and how you got through it? Leave your comments below. Know someone who could use these words? Please pass them along.
Upward and onward, and enjoy basking in the light.