4 Ways to Let Go of Control (and why you want to)

July 15, 2015


It's summertime, which means our days may involve riding roller coasters, zip-lining, crazy big water slides, bungee jumping, canyoning, or another heart racing activity.

The anticipation, holding on for dear life, then the final exhale when it's all over - it's exhilarating and fun. 

But for many of us, the mentality of holding on for dear life doesn't stay at the zip-line park.  Life brings a lot of uncertainties. The constant reaction to what is happening around us or what may happen causes us to hold on tight. The white-knuckled grip is real and many of us are often on full lock down when a situation or person seems out of our control. 

Having control of a situation - getting people to do what we want or having our desired outcome happen makes for smooth sailing.

So when things don't go the way we would like, and people don't act the way we would like them to, life gets messy.  Anger or even sadness sets in and our grip gets tighter.
 

Holding On To What We Can Control

Admitting that control was never ours in the first place (even with our children) is the first step to relaxing the stressful grip we hold on our lives. 

We can't control  the people or situations around us.  Trying to do so will only deplete and disconnect us from who we really are and leave us feeling frustrated or alone.
 
If releasing the notion of control is freaking you out,  don't fear, you still have control over the most important person in your life - you. 

Your inner world is all yours. How you react, what you think and how you feel are all you. You have control over your every moment. No one else can even come close to claiming it. 

People will continue to do things that disappoint you, that seem appalling to you and that make you want to scream.  We are all  different and on such different paths, expecting people  to live according to your plan isn't realistic.  When we release the control of how we expect others to act and focus truly on what's going on inside of us, the power is ours. 

4 Ways to Release Your Grip

1. Become Centered and Connect  - Take time out of everyday and just be. No distractions or interruptions. Sit, breath and connect. Honor the space you embody by giving it time, even if it's just for a few minutes.  This connects you with your internal guidance. 

2. Acknowledge What or Who You've Been Trying to Control - then release it. Remind yourself everyone is on their own path. 

3. Make Sure Your Needs are Getting Met - When we are running on empty, lashing out at others can be a quick remedy for relief.  Take account of what you need to feel grounded, satisfied and secure and make it happen. Control your needs getting met. 

4. Acknowledge That You Have Been Doing the Best You Can -  Self-acceptance helps unravel the cords that keep you wanting to control others. Forgive the past and focus on the now.

Releasing the notion of control may bring you to one realization - that white knuckled grip you've had on life wasn't controlling anyone but you.

Cheers to leaving the tight grip at the amusement park. 

How do you let go of control? Leave your comments here. You never know who your words will help or encourage. 


Lots of control-free love,



Danielle

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Copyright 2018 Danielle Vaughn, LLC